"I hate waiting."

As you might guess, I'm a bit impatient. I had hoped that picking up a pair of knitting needles would help me learn about the virtue of patience... but it seems I just want my projects to go along as quickly as possible.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Reasons I'm Crazy # ... crap. I lost count.

Lately, I feel as if I'm walking around with an extra large jar of butterflies in my stomach. Why? Some of it is because I still feel as if I am in an unfamiliar and uncomfortable place. Nothing seems settled. I don't know for sure where I'll live next year (though I have a lead), I don't really know exactly where I'll be doing for my training next year (I take far fewer classes, and do a clinical experience next year), and the thought of having 6 final projects at the end of this semester?? All of that craziness adds up to me feeling like a nutjob. Not just peanutty nutty. A nutjob nuttiness level that can only be obtained by a large assortment of nuts.

Even the listmaking doesn't help. I love a good list. I used to take my love of lists a bit too far. I had a list of things to do for school, a list of things to do for work, and a list of things to do for life. At one point, I think I had a list of my lists (um, you are all now seeing why I am crazy). But, I stopped making lists of lists and now just have one mambo jambo list. The list doesn't ever go away. Ever. It just kind of grows and my GOAL is to limit its rate of growth. For the last few weeks, I've been avoiding my list, because it overwhelms me. Classes, class assignments, school related assignments (for which I don't get credit or grades, but is required), research assignments, .... augh.

The straw that's breaking my back is the interview process. I didn't know I had to continue interviewing AFTER I got into a doctoral program! Wasn't THAT process grueling enough? Oh no. Now, I have to find training sites that will give me clinical hours (contact hours with clients who want psychotherapy), send out applications (including transcripts, cover letters, recommendation letters, and resume), and wait for interview invitations. THEN, you have to INTERVIEW. THEN, you have to wait for an offer. But what if the first offer isn't the offer you want?

I feel like this post could qualify for the "day in the life of" contest that Elisa is having, but I can't very well whip out a camera and ask my maybe future supervisor if I can take a picture to blog about my life during an interview.

Next post: I promise, pics of Noro Kolsva. I have the front finished and am reworking the back (I ripped it out and am reknitting so that the shaping actually follows MY shaping... sort of).

Note to future Kolsva knitters: if you want to make it longer, knit plain for 6-8 inches before starting the decreases. I started after 4.5 inches, and am having to knit plain for about4 inches before I start the armhole shaping. I still think the waist shaping is too low for me, but I'm not ripping it again. I'll edit this comment after I finish and try it on.

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Blogger Chris said...

Hee hee - I think taking a picture of your advisor mid-conversation would probably liven things up! ;)

Hang in there, kiddo. You will get through it. You will.

Do you read TwinKnit? You could probably relate...

2/16/07, 4:17 PM  
Anonymous cristina said...

i know what you mean...but it will all come togethter, you just have to hang in there.

2/16/07, 5:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And when it all comes together, something else will all come apart. But we muddle through anyhow. Lists in hand.

Oh, I so would've loved to see you snap a pic of your advisor and the interviewer!

2/16/07, 6:19 PM  
Anonymous Carrie K said...

Anonymous? Is my computer begging me to throw it through the window? Because it's sure asking for it.

2/16/07, 6:20 PM  
Blogger Calling Kahlo said...

Studying is stressful. When I first started the Master's Program I was all who-hoo and now it's all backwards it is oh-ow. You be brave and do what you need to and hopefully next year we can post about our interviewing lots of interviewing.

2/17/07, 7:44 PM  
Blogger Terby said...

The first two years of any program are the worst. It does get better - I think you adapt to the stress and craziness eventually. Of course, I'm partly telling you this today in order to convince myself.

2/18/07, 9:21 AM  
Blogger Wanda said...

You still have to interiew? I think that would stress me out. It will get better in time, or you just adjust to a new level of craziness. Either way, it'll all work out.

2/18/07, 1:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It all sounds so overwhelming, but if anyone can handle it, you can! Miss ya!

2/18/07, 9:54 PM  

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